An Adult On the Path of Leadership

I was the oldest of us four children while we were growing up. My mother and father both worked outside of the home, thus I was left in charge during the hours in between school and when our parents returned home from work. Our generation has been referred to as the “Latch-Key Kids” or “Generation X.” Although no real harm came to us during these hours alone, most of us missed the paternal guidance that is helpful to naturally acquire the skills needed to become effective leaders as adults. The results are a nation of parents who are dependable followers, trying to guide and raise their own children in a very difficult and demoralized society. I refuse to believe that what the conveyor belt has to offer is all that is available for my life and my children’s. I want to break free from being a dependable follower.

According to Dr. Oliver DeMille, in his book, “Leadership Education, the Phases of Learning,” the best dependable followers are great at copying, counting, and comparing with others. In contrast, responsible leaders create, value, and impact others.

An example of a mother who is lost as a dependable follower was found on a recent blog entry I came across. In an effort to save money, she and her husband had decided to turn off their cable. She wrote that she was bored out of her mind because she was not able to watch TV and she had already read the Harry Potter and Twilight series. She was desperate for advice because her husband was about to go out of town. To my astonishment, she received 18 comments, ranging in advice on how to download illegal copies of her favorite TV show off the Internet, to renting a TV series from Blockbusters. Others commented on how they were too addicted to TV to ever consider trying to cut out their cable bill. I was deeply saddened by this mother and her friend’s inability to think outside of the conveyor belt box. What if this mother pulled out a classic, like Jane Eyre or began to study the Constitution? What if she began organizing her home or did a 6-month purge in her new found time? I commend her for turning off the TV, but filling the void with something worthwhile would have made her a leader, instead of a follower.

I am finding that simply by reading classics, I am weird. You would not believe how many strange looks I get when I tell people that not only my book group reads classics, but writes papers to share with one another. Pulling yourself off the conveyor belt can be very scary and isolating. At first, I found myself excusing and apologizing for my son being instructed at home. I have had to find the courage to not only take the smart risk of home schooling my children, but to not look for external approval and to stop fearing my own greatness. All of these are transition skills that are needed to be an effective leader; skills that I did not acquire when I should have because I was a “Latch-Key Kid” left on my own.

To create, to value, and to impact: this is what I want for my life and my family’s. I want to create an inspiring environment that enables my children to have a love of learning. I hope to show them how to value the good things in life, instead of how to count them. I pray that I may acquire the skills needed to make a positive impact on others.