Common Threads in Classics by Sara Sweet

Don’t you love it when common threads emerge among the various topics you’ve been studying? It’s so inspiring to find the ways things fit together and reinforce one another. I’ve lately been studying these are other materials: Steven Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the Thomas Jefferson Education philosophies (contained in books such as Amy Edward’s LOLIPOP book and the DeMilles’ Leadership Education and Phases of Learning), Parenting:A House United by Nicholeen Peck, Commitment by Vaughn Featherstone, my canons of scripture, and a Positive Parenting class offered by the local LDS Institute presented by Carleen Tanner (whose blog can be found at carleentanner.com).

While there have been many bridges revealed to me over the last few months that connect the various ideas presented in these resources, there is one bridge in particular that has stood out to me as the most traveled between these topics. It is the idea of agency. I believe agency may be the key to unlocking many of the goals I have for my children and for myself so that we are free to develop and improve ourselves.

How easy it is to just answer a question with a straightforward answer, especially when the question is asked by a child. If we are answering with the intent to exhibit our expertise, then an accurate, thorough answer may accomplish that goal. But if our intent in answer the question is to bestow real understanding in the person asking, such an answer may not be most effective. Often the answers we seek for ourselves are the most complete and memorable. Christ often inspired this type of learning in his earthly ministries through the use of parables.

The real question we might ask ourselves is: What are our underlying goals as a parent? As a home educator? What type of child do we want to raise? What strengths to we wish to provide the opportunity for our children to develop? What will give them the wisdom and capacity to conquer challenges when we are not by their side? I submit to you that your worthy goals can only be achieved if you pursue our Heavenly Father’s plan, and not through the pursuit of His (and our) adversary, Lucifer’s plan. The path of compulsion is the path of misery and dissent. The path of free exercise of agency is the path of empowerment and self-refinement. As parents our charge is to provide the opportunities and environment in which our children can become who they are destined to become by their own choosing. By this, we effectively join Our Father’s work to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of men.

This necessity of protecting the right of our children to choose is a necessary component of Nicholeen Peck’s parenting skills. It is the key identified by Sister Tanner to inviting a child to come unto Christ, by encouraging them to interact with their Savior Himself rather than to perform required religious tasks for us. It is the secret to unlocking a love of learning that leads to true scholarship as taught by the DeMilles and Amy Edwards, as opposed to educational compulsion. It is the tool with which we place ourselves securely in Covey’s Circle of Influence, where we can become empowered to act and not to be acted upon.

Most of us must resist our desire to compel our children to act so that we may empower them to act for themselves. We must be creative in the way we structure our home to allow this preferred type of development in our precious, capable children. We are not the result of our circumstances. We are free to act, and to own both our mistakes and triumphs. With that freedom comes the responsibility to be better each day than the previous day, to set our own goals, measure, evaluate, and encourage ourselves along the path of our choosing. It is the way to wisdom, happiness, and success. Let us travel this bridge often and invite our loved ones to come along, that we can discover together our individual and collective joys.

How to Inspire Great Readers

Begin with Basic Tools

Did you know that over 90% of the English language is phonetically correct?  I have personally always struggled with spelling and when I heard this statistic, I wanted proof.  I found “proof” in my favorite resource, Spell to Write and Read.  I cannot give this program enough praise.  It is truly the secret to our families reading success.  You can find it at http://www.bhibooks.net/home.html

A Vacuum of Stimulation

Just like any other habit in your life that you want to create, you must make room for it.   No child would ever pick up a book on their own if they are allowed unlimited time with Television, Movies, Internet, and Video Games. If you want to raise a good reader, it is time to UNPLUG your family and let your children become very, very bored.  This may take some time to adjust too, that I like to refer as “detoxing.”  After a week or two of no electronic stimulation, your children will be craving new ideas – and that is where books come into the picture. 

Besides too much electronic stimulation squishing any desire to read, children can also spend too much time with friends, sports, dance, and other activities such as roaming the neighborhood.  Freeing their schedule up and allowing your children to have hours of “boredom” will highly increase their desire to read quit naturally.

Poetry

Did you know that the average American functions at only a 4^th-grade reading level? This is the level that we read newspapers, hear and understand our media and speak daily to one another.  How do we surpass this average and start thriving at a higher level?  POETRY! Add it to your student’s daily lives through reading it, memorizing it, reciting it, and copying it.  Poetry gives us a superior form of patterns of the English language at all levels.

Time, Not Content

Great mentors help their students establish and follow a consistent schedule, but they don’t micromanage the content.  Indeed, micro-management has become one of the real poisons of modern education. Encourage students to pursue their interests and passions during their study time.  For example:  Set aside a half hour a day for your student to read, but let them choose what it is they read.

Classics, Not Textbooks

No one can deny the value of a great idea well communicated. The inspiration, innovation and ingenuity inherent in great ideas elevate those who study them.  Great ideas are most effectively learned directly from the greatest thinkers, historians, artists, philosophers and prophets, and their original works. Great works inspire greatness, just as mediocre or poor works usually inspire mediocre and poor achievement.  The great accomplishments of humanity are the key to quality education. Study original sources — the intellectual and creative works of the world’s great thinkers, artists, scientists, etc., in the form they were produced.  Refer to the “Fantastic Reads for All Ages”book list for ideas for class titles.  Introduce new classics to your student by reading them aloud together.

Audio Books

A person can often understand concepts and vocabulary at a much higher level and rate when they are listening to a book, instead of reading it.  Listening to audio books is fantastic way to introduce your student to classics, which would be too difficult for them to read independently.  (This really works! My ten-year-old son recently no only listened to unabridged production of Charlotte Bronte’s “Jane Eyre,” he loved it too.)  Listening to great classics improves vocabulary, pronunciation, and comprehension.

Inspire With Your Example

Focus on your education, and invite them along for the ride. Read the classics in all fields, find mentors who inspire and demand quality, structure your days to include study time for yourself, and become a person who inspires great education.  A parent or teacher doesn’t have to be an “expert” to inspire great education (the classics provide the expertise), but he does have to be setting the example.

Why We Chose the TJEd Model for our Family's Education

As a high school senior I became disillusioned about the fidelity of the school system I was graduating from.   I distinctly remember feeling that I had become GOOD at a lot of things, but I was not truly GREAT at anything.  I started college feeling lost and unsure.  What I needed was a mentor; someone who could guide me through the world personally by introducing me to the classics.  Someone who could help me to become GREAT!

Oliver DeMille started a movement in education almost two decades ago.  He named his philosophy the Leadership Education Model or Thomas Jefferson Education.  Five years ago, he spoke at a seminar I attended.  He challenged us as we left, to go home and read classics books, find like-minded people, and get together regularly to discuss our thoughts.  Plunging into the unknown, I started a book group called “Mothers Who Know” that meets once a month. 

Studying the classics regularly brings you face-to-face with the greatest minds in history.  This process will change and inspire you to become better.  If I am going to mentor my children in the classics, I need to know them intimately myself.  For instance, when I studied Les Miserables this last fall I read the book, watched the movie, listened to the CD of the musical driving around town, attended a live performance of the musical, and discussed it with my book group.  My children now have a great love of Les Mis, because I exemplified a real love of this story.

Studying great classic works can be hard work.  If the home is filled with distracting media, it may be difficult or impossible to study.  Thus, my family has opted to not have a television or any video games in our home for the last four years.  Our children are allowed to be “bored” on purpose.  They have to find their own fun.  Without distracting media in our home, I am able to fill that space with great things.  Memorizing and reciting poetry, studying the Suzuki method for violin,  Spelling to Write and Read, Latin, The Life of Fred math series, gardening, swimming, reading and listening to classical stories for children, canning, raising pet chickens, and serving others in our community keeps us plenty busy.

The Thomas Jefferson Education model does not offer a specific curriculum. It is a philosophy and a way of life.  DeMille identifies different phases that children go through as they develop.  Each of the phases has specific goals that help our children to become the best individuals they can be.  Young children need to learn a set of core values.  Older children should establish a wonderful love of learning with different strategies of how to approach studying classics. Teen and young adults dig deep into great works and learn to keep commitments as scholars.  Through succumbing to a mentor and exposure to the classics, children can’t help but become not only GOOD, but GREAT!

Why Leadership Education?

In a Deseret News article that was published August 25, 2009 by Irene Maher, stated that “Starting or returning to school can be stressful and trigger emotions and anxiety in children that even the most attentive parents may miss.”

The article continues: “School can put (children) over the top. It has nothing to do with school, actually. That’s just the place the child brings his emotional baggage, says Dr. Peter Gorski, (a University of South Florida pediatrician who specializes in developmental and behavioral medicine).

Colette Parker of Tampa thought her youngest son, Xavier Williams, would handle kindergarten without much fuss, just as his older brothers did.

But two weeks into his first school year she started getting calls from his teacher. Five-year-old Xavier was throwing things, blowing up emotionally, running out of the classroom, acting aggressively and physically fighting with other children. The teacher couldn’t handle him.

Parker, 33, says her son had a difficult time making the adjustment from the familiar friends and caregivers at day care to the more structured environment of kindergarten. Day care was all about play. ‘In school he had to sit down and do work,’ says Parker.

‘We see a lot of families who never had issues with their kids until school started,’ says John Mayo, a licensed child therapist and deputy executive director of Success 4 Kids & Families.”

What is wrong with this picture?? For most of my life I would have said that some kids are going to have a harder time leaving home and adjusting going to kindergarten than other kids, but it’s a fact of life. Your child “has” to leave you at age five, and like it or not he or she has to start making his or her own way in the world.

I remember very well how I stood in a line of mothers and their kindergartners waiting for the bell to ring, signaling the first day of school. This was my last biological child and I knew I wouldn’t be able to have any more children. My heart was breaking and tears were willfully held back as I attempted to put on a brave face for my little girl. I look back at this experience with much regret and realize there is nothing I can do now to change what happened then. But I have the knowledge and power to change the outcome for the adopted children I have in my home now. The single greatest paradigm shift of my life has occurred because of discovering “Leadership Education.” I would like to share some my favorite parts in the book by Oliver and Rachel DeMille entitled Leadership Education - The Phases of Learning, that contributed to my transformation.

(Page 18) “Leadership Education recognizes the need for freedom in education and encourages self-motivation and personal mission accomplishment that result in feelings of inherent self-worth, leadership and compassion for others. The conveyor belt enforces sameness and aims to foster feelings of societal interdependence, based upon feelings of personal inadequacy and dependency on experts as the norm.”

(Page 23) “The greatest irony in modern education is that we will not let children play when that is practically all our teenagers do. What if children played and worked with their parents more and were lovingly taught about good and bad, right and wrong and true and false? What if youth worked very hard and put in long hours getting a great education and preparing for their life mission? What amazing results could come of making such a reversal in our society!”

(Page 45) “The increasing intellectual demands of the child in Love of Learning Phase upon the parent require that the home life and family’s time be kept as uncomplicated possible. Too many outside activities, no matter how valuable or interesting, can be over-stimulating for the child and draw him much too soon away from the ties that bind him to the nest. Too much “stuff,” either as clutter in the home or as entertainments and possessions that rob time from the necessary “right kind of vacuum” (that space of discomfort/boredom that impels a young person to exert himself to accomplish something worthwhile) can derail a family’s education... It is okay to stay home! It is okay to just play sometimes! We need to take responsibility to fill our homes with wholesomeness, warmth, light and learning and provide the time for family members to benefit from this ideal environment.

(Page 86) “The two biggest complaints are that Scholar Phase is too hard and the Love of Learning Phase is too easy.... There is nothing more challenging in the entire educational world than an excellent Love of Learning Phase. Day in and day out, week after week and year after year, the parent-teacher’s role is to inspire the child to happily, consistently and unswervingly study, learn, search, discover, enlighten, know and apply. The sad reason that people think Love of Learning is ‘easy’ is that they have been brainwashed by the conveyor belt. When they hear ‘Inspire, not Require,’ their brains are so conditioned against combining ‘inspire’ with ‘education’ that they actually go home remembering something very much like ‘ignore, not require.’”

(Page 127) “There are two proven ways to create a teenager: 1) force and push children academically and 2) let them do whatever they want in their personal life. In contrast, young adults are raised by parents who: 1) have firm disciplinary standards and 2) a high quality freedom-oriented educational system. The two components of creating youth are natural and excellent complements.”

(Page 135) “It is interesting that some modern feminists have described the stay-at-home mom or homemaker as caught in a life of boredom, subjugation and sad mediocrity. But true feminine ambition focused on the training of future leaders who fully understand and can accomplish their missions is the greatest challenge and opportunity of our time or any time. It is not enough to train up one’s own children. The true mother must also train and properly raise the whole community in which her children grow up, looking ahead three or four generations and acting accordingly. This is not a government village raising the child, but a mother raising her own children, her future sons- and daughters-in-law, and communities of great and good leaders who will ensure the liberty of their grandchildren. Not, ‘It takes a village to raise a child,’ but, ‘It takes a mother to raise a village.’”

(Page 135 - con’t) “The greatest educators are fathers and mother - from Eve, Mary, the mothers of Moses , Washington , Jefferson and Lincoln, to the women who embrace and magnify their roles and responsibilities as mothers in your neighborhood and your own family. These are statemen and stateswomen engaged in the work of building the family-the basic unit of society. A stateswoman puts her relationship with God and spouse in their proper place of preeminence, leads an inspirational life, is actively progressing through the phases herself, runs a Mom School, has her home arranged as a leadership home, says ‘no’ and ‘yes’ in the Leadership way, and mentors through the Phases of a Leadership Education. She is a powerful example of a woman living a life of challenging, fulfilling, exciting feminine ambition and expertise that is literally world-changing. It takes a mother to raise a nation.”

(Page 283) “A life spent making the world better for your future grandchildren is a life of service, leadership, and greatness. It takes a full lifetime to really make change. This is the message and purpose of life and the most important thing any of us can ever do. It is the reason for our lives. We better get started on it early, or as soon as we realize what it is all about.”

I didn’t understand “what it is (really) all about” until I was already a grandmother. Nevertheless, it is not too late for me to transform myself and become a scholar and provide leadership education in my home and community. When we open our hearts and souls and become receptive to what blessings God has in store for us, He will lead and guide us to where we need to be so that we can accomplish our missions and true purposes for being here on this earth. It is through applying the principles taught in Leadership Education that we can accomplish our life’s mission by guiding and preparing the future leaders of the world in our own homes and inspiring others to do the same.

No longer do I believe the myth that compulsory education is a fact of life and that there is no other choice but a conveyor belt education that enforces sameness and “feelings of personal inadequacy and dependency on experts as the norm.” I wish I could let all the “Colette Parkers” of the world know about Leadership Education and that there is a much better and more joyful way to nurture and educate your children and be the change you wish to see in the world. Little five year-old Xavier wouldn’t be carrying emotional baggage to school because he would be able to stay home with his mother who would teach him basic core principles and allow him to be a child and not worry about scholarly pursuits until he had a great core phase and loved to learn. Imagine how different Colette and Xavier’s lives would be with Leadership Education.

An Adult On the Path of Leadership

I was the oldest of us four children while we were growing up. My mother and father both worked outside of the home, thus I was left in charge during the hours in between school and when our parents returned home from work. Our generation has been referred to as the “Latch-Key Kids” or “Generation X.” Although no real harm came to us during these hours alone, most of us missed the paternal guidance that is helpful to naturally acquire the skills needed to become effective leaders as adults. The results are a nation of parents who are dependable followers, trying to guide and raise their own children in a very difficult and demoralized society. I refuse to believe that what the conveyor belt has to offer is all that is available for my life and my children’s. I want to break free from being a dependable follower.

According to Dr. Oliver DeMille, in his book, “Leadership Education, the Phases of Learning,” the best dependable followers are great at copying, counting, and comparing with others. In contrast, responsible leaders create, value, and impact others.

An example of a mother who is lost as a dependable follower was found on a recent blog entry I came across. In an effort to save money, she and her husband had decided to turn off their cable. She wrote that she was bored out of her mind because she was not able to watch TV and she had already read the Harry Potter and Twilight series. She was desperate for advice because her husband was about to go out of town. To my astonishment, she received 18 comments, ranging in advice on how to download illegal copies of her favorite TV show off the Internet, to renting a TV series from Blockbusters. Others commented on how they were too addicted to TV to ever consider trying to cut out their cable bill. I was deeply saddened by this mother and her friend’s inability to think outside of the conveyor belt box. What if this mother pulled out a classic, like Jane Eyre or began to study the Constitution? What if she began organizing her home or did a 6-month purge in her new found time? I commend her for turning off the TV, but filling the void with something worthwhile would have made her a leader, instead of a follower.

I am finding that simply by reading classics, I am weird. You would not believe how many strange looks I get when I tell people that not only my book group reads classics, but writes papers to share with one another. Pulling yourself off the conveyor belt can be very scary and isolating. At first, I found myself excusing and apologizing for my son being instructed at home. I have had to find the courage to not only take the smart risk of home schooling my children, but to not look for external approval and to stop fearing my own greatness. All of these are transition skills that are needed to be an effective leader; skills that I did not acquire when I should have because I was a “Latch-Key Kid” left on my own.

To create, to value, and to impact: this is what I want for my life and my family’s. I want to create an inspiring environment that enables my children to have a love of learning. I hope to show them how to value the good things in life, instead of how to count them. I pray that I may acquire the skills needed to make a positive impact on others.

Marinade
When I slow down and take time to reflect and feel the pulse of my family, I know there are some things missing. Reading “Leadership Education” by Oliver and Rachel DeMille confirms it. Obviously I can’t incorporate everything I think would be ideal for us overnight, but as a result of reading, studying, and praying, the Lord has helped me to prioritize what my family specifically needs.

One of the concepts mentioned in several ingredients of “Leadership Education” is the concept of hard work building both character and body. The pictures created in my mind when reading about Oliver James chopping wood, milking goats, mending fences, planting trees, and still doing the work of a scholar make my heart race. My soul hungers as I read of the DeMille children taking care of bunnies, the dog, the chickens, and most importantly, their handicapped brother, Hyrum. The DeMille’s explain, “We simply could not imagine how to have the kind of family culture our grandparents did without having the environment and activities they had. . . The yard, the animals and the home required our attention as if the homestead were a part of the family. We had to take care of it so it could take care of us.”

I recently had an invitation to my friend, Molly’s house in Round Valley. Her house is twelve miles south of Cascade. As I drove the nearly two hours to get there, I felt like I was entering into the presence of God. That sounds dramatic, I know, but the absence of everything commercial had the same effect on me as leaving a smoke-filled building to suck in that first breath of pure air. The experience, although lasting less than 24 hours, was surreal to me. Round Valley is a place where keys are left in the ignition in full faith that they will still be there upon return, where the night sky is darker and yet brighter at the same time, where you can clearly see the view of the mist hanging in the trees at the base of the mountain, and where cattle have the right of way.

Upon my return, I cried: first, because I felt like I was headed back to Sodom; second, because we were 4 weeks away from buying a house in a perfect little neighborhood with a yard, a fence and lots of neighbors. It’s all I ever wanted . . . until Cascade. I don’t want what I used to want. I want a place for my children to play and explore outside without the worry of neighbors disliking the noise, or traffic whizzing by, or sex offenders in the house down the street. I am tired of the HOA complaining about toys left in the front yard and weeds in the cracks of the driveway (true story). This is the season in my life that is for rearing children, molding character, building human edifices to God. Don’t get me wrong—I don’t have the delusion that simply moving a few miles south, buying a few chickens, and chopping some wood will fix all our problems and make us magically complete. However, I do feel that a change in the lifestyle of my family will aid us in becoming the kind of people Heavenly Father needs.

I’ve heard that when you read a book over and over, you have a different experience each time —not because the book has changed but because you have. That’s how I felt when I came home. Everything was different. I saw my house and family differently. I treated them with more care. My house hadn’t changed, my children and husband were the same, but I had changed through my experience in Cascade. And it made all the difference. What changes could come through a daily marinade of souls in such an environment? I can only imagine.

Good and Great Leaders

This quote is found on page 2 in the introduction of the Leadership Education book, by Dr. Oliver DeMille we are reading this month:

Separation of intellectual learning from moral development most characterizes the modern conveyor belt educational system - from pre-school through post-doctoral studies. It is precisely this separation that parents and educators of our generation must overcome if we are to educate a generation of leaders with character and competence, who are both good and great.

Today, more than ever we need leaders with a moral backbone. WE are the ones who are educating tomorrows leaders, this is a very exciting but daunting task. I hope you find this book helpful in your endeavour to educate...I can't wait to hear what you think.